And so it ends…
This is the last week of vacation for me. I’m getting in all my doctor’s appointments, collecting things for my classroom, and hoping to hit the beach once more. I feel like I had a very productive summer. I finished Rogue Memory, did a lot of work on Rogue Medicine, and started Rogue Business. I’ve learned a lot about the self publishing world, and have made some awesome connections. I also managed to get the trim painted, but didn’t lose the 20 pounds. Ah well, you can’t win them all.
If anyone besides spammers have been reading this blog, thanks for coming on the journey with me. For the spammers, I don’t read Cyrillic, so you’ve wasted your time.
I started this blog to keep me on track, and I think it helped. I put my goals out to the universe and I feel like that was what I needed to do. I have no idea if I’ll keep blogging, or if anyone cares, but if you’re out there and want to know what happens next, feel free to hit me up on X or email me.
Thanks for joining me on the ride.
Ari
Happiness is a Journey
I went to the funeral of a 91 year old woman today. The church was pretty full of people. Some were there because they knew her children, but a lot of people were there because of her. She was a funny, kind woman, who lived a tough life, but made the most of it, and it showed.
It got me thinking…
I’ve been freaking out over money, or lack thereof, and thinking, if I just won the lottery, all my worries would be over and I’d be happy. The truth is, I AM happy. Maybe not all the time, but for the most part, I know that I am blessed. It seems to me that we look at happiness as some place we’re trying to get to, the end point of our destination. In reality, it’s the journey itself. This is a tough concept for me. I’m a goal oriented person. I set goals and try like hell to achieve them. The idea that the process IS the goal is a bit mind bending. And by a bit I mean, A WHOLE FUCKING LOT.
When the time comes and I pass on, I want people to remember the fun times we had together, laughing with (or at) me, how I cared for others, how I taught others, and how many lives I’ve become a part of over the years. No one is going to remember how soon I paid off the (many, many) college loans, or whether I drove a fancy car, or if I was skinny in my casket.
A long lived life is not guaranteed to anyone, in my family, we know that more than most. I’m shooting for a well enjoyed life filled with love and laughter.
Enjoy the ride.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed
I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I have been kicking the can down the road about a number of things and now the road is coming to an end. I’ve got to figure out where I’m going and how I’m going to get there. Instead of making a plan, I just keep running around in circles, which is unlike me. I like to plan. I like plans. I’m usually great at planning.
Not now, for some reason.
I feel like I’m stuck in neutral and I just don’t have enough gas to go in any direction, so I’m spinning my wheels in place. The conversation in my brain goes something like this:
You should get your books out there. You need money and it will help to have more titles visible.
To put the books out there, you need to get the old ones scanned and get new covers for them. That takes money. You’ll be going back to work in a week, that will give you more money. Except, when I’m working 50+ hours a week, I have no time to write or do writing related stuff.
If I stop working one of the jobs, I would have more time to put into writing. But then I wouldn’t have any money to get covers or line edits.
I think the answer is I need to win the lottery, but until that happens, I guess I’ll keep spinning my wheels…
I’m back!
I’m home from 10 days in North Carolina with family. It was chaotic and awesome, and I’m exhausted. While I was away, I got feedback from the company I hired to do an alpha read and one of my critique partners.
I haven’t looked yet. I’m still in my pajamas, actually. We drove home yesterday, and it took 13 hours. I’m tired. I am not mentally ready for edits. I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll feel a little more like myself and be ready to dive back in, but I have to admit, things are looking a little grim.
I am already getting emails about what’s happening when we go back to school in two weeks. My calendar is very full for the next three weeks, and I’m feeling a little defeated. I think this is probably part of the the exhaustion, plus vacation hangover, but I’m giving myself the day to relax and feel like a blob.
Tomorrow will be a better day…
Lots of Feels
Yesterday I was talking to my friend who is going to help me navigate the self-publishing waters. After I spoke with her, I was a little freaked out. I do not like not knowing what to do. I always say, I can’t sing, dance, draw, and I suck at math, but what I’m good at is studying. I like knowing things and knowing what’s going on. I’m finding it very anxiety inducing to be so ignorant of all the steps involved.
Luckily, I have generous friends who are willing to walk me through the process. One of the things I’m realizing though is that I’m going to need to step back a little from my original, modified plan. I need to get all four Rogue books written before I can start releasing them. I know I hate waiting for the sequel of a book, and I can’t imagine having to wait 2 years for the next book in a series.
I will start re-releasing my backlist at some point though. Well, after I re-edit them, because boy are they old! I need to save up enough money to buy the covers and get them scanned into word documents, because I lost those 2 computers ago.
I’m still figuring out how I’m going to do everything, plus keep writing when I’m working 3 jobs in a few weeks. Stay tuned to see what happens. I have no idea, so we’ll both be surprised…
It Takes a Village
I am thinking about re-releasing two of my out of print books from almost 20 years ago. I was re-reading the dedications and it reminded me of how many people are involved with getting a book from my head out into the world.
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the work publishers do now that I’m trying to self-publish, but that’s after the story has been put on the page. Before that, there are all the people who make it possible for me to write. First and foremost, my husband who listens to me when I bounce ideas around randomly. He also gives me the space to write. It’s not as hard as it was when my kids were little, but there are still plenty of things I could be doing around the house instead of writing.
There’s also the support from my writing friends, who listen as I whine and whine and whine. The first publishers and editors who took a chance on me, and in all honesty, probably never made much money off my writing, were awesome and I can’t thank them enough. My adult daughters are now my cheerleaders, and my mom and sisters have always been my biggest fans. I don’t for one second doubt how blessed I am.
I am so thankful for the village of people, old and new, who help me do something I love.
Up and at ’em
It’s early, but I’m in my office, starting the day. I’m hoping that I can get into the habit of getting up early and writing even once I go back to work. I realize how much I miss the daily journey writing takes me on, even if I can only do it for an hour. I feel like I have momentum now and I don’t want to stop telling Rogue’s story.
There’s so much more that needs to be done when it comes to writing and self-publishing. I know I’m not going to be able to get everything done before school starts. Heck, I probably won’t get even a tenth of it done before then, but I feel good about the progress I’ve made this summer. I finished the first draft of the book, and will hopefully finish the proofread today. I painted the trim, and I have lost weight. Check, check, check.
I want to finish editing Rogue Medicine and start actual edits of Rogue Memory and maybe even start Rogue 3. I have 3 weeks of vacation yet, I can get a lot done…in theory…
For now, I’m going to proofread something for the awesome Leigh Wyndfield and get back into proofreading.
businessman holding signboard show back to work
Bwahahahahah
I finished it! Okay, I finished the FIRST DRAFT of Rogue Memory, but I got the book done on Friday! It took 11 hours, 6 cans of Diet Coke, and pretty much all of my brain cells, but I got it done. I wrote 13,000 words, and the story went 5K over what I was planning on, but a lot of that will be taken out during the editing process.
Which I am starting today…This is the first run through that I do to try to fix any mistakes, like say, I changed the hero’s hair color mid way through the story. After this edit, I will send it to my critique partners to get their feedback and then go in again and fix more things.
Now, in my old writing life, I would then send it to my editor, but now in this brave new self-publishing world? I’m not sure how exactly this is going to go. I sent Rogue Medicine to a company who is doing an alpha read, something I’d never heard of before. They sent me feedback on the first 5 chapters and I’m pretty impressed. I really don’t know what the next step is in the process, and honestly, I’m broke so I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford the next step.
This is a different world than I’m used to, and I find myself worried I’m going to get taken advantage of in it. I also worry that I’m never going to make back the money I’m laying out upfront. I don’t write because I think I’ll become a rich, famous, best-selling author. (Although Universe, I’m totally open to that if you want to make it happen.) I write because I love to write and it keeps me sane. In a perfect world, I’d write the books, edit them, and hand them off to someone who would make the magic happen and then I’d collect royalties. Unfortunately, that world doesn’t exist, so I actually need to work at the business end of writing too.
Bummer.
So I’m up and at ’em early today, to do the part of the writing process I know I can do, and I’ll worry about the rest another time…
Today is the Day!!!
Today I am going to finish the first draft of this book, damn it. I’m putting this out into the universe. I’m going to stay in this room until it’s done. Well, I’ll leave to eat and go to the bathroom, but mostly, I’ll stay here and work. I’m so close, and I really want to to finish it.
I’ve been thinking about this couple for literally years. At night before I go to bed, their story plays out in my head and when I’m writing, I’m just trying to keep up with the movie that played in my mind the night before. I want to get this story down so I can go back and edit it and make it better. The first draft is always insane, with a lot of mistakes and inconsistencies, because I’m furiously trying to get the information down. The first edit cleans it up, then I get feedback and clean it up some more.
My goal is to finish the first draft this week, the edit next week, and then go on vacation feeling guilt free. We will see where life takes us, but that is the plan…Wish me luck.
Not much to say
I really want to spend my time writing today, so I don’t have much for this blog. Here’s a picture of puppies to make up for my lack of content.
